Having a random hookup so left but love u
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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