I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
