so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Randomize