we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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