just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
