We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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