At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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