I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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