I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
