I'm drive I can fine osifer
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
