the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
She even gives head with a lisp.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
