Is it normal to miss your booty call?
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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