So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize