I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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