Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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