The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
