I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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