Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
