So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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