Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
