your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
