either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
