So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize