Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize