you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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