What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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