Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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