I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
