I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
