i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize