Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Randomize
