I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
