I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
