wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
