You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
