pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I love having hate sex.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
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