You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
