You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
