why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
