im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
