A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Randomize