My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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