My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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