We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize