and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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