Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
