The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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