You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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