drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
