I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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