How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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