Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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