Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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