i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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