She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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