this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
