I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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