I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Four minutes until I can fart!
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
