I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
