I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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