I have demons in me.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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