dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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