16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize