Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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