He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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