He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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