Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
