Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
